Mum’s trip to the ‘rest room’ – a poem of parental pain

There’s a sign saying “rest room” on our bathroom door.
But since becoming a parent it’s not a room of rest anymore.

As soon as I perch my bum on the toilet seat,
All I hear is “mum, mum, mum” and the sound of tiny feet.

“Mummy,” she squeals as she bursts through the door,
And immediately starts to empty all the tampons from the drawer.

“No. No. No. Please don’t touch that.”
“Why don’t you just sit down and play on the mat?”

So she sits down with her bath toys and empties the box.
Somehow getting water all over my socks.

Then she thinks it’s fun to try posting toys into the toilet.
This isn’t very restful. Not one little bit.

“No darling you can’t sit on my lap.”
And: “Will you please stop trying to turn on that tap?”

Then she starts hitting the toilet seat off my back.
Over and over again. Whack. Whack. Whack.

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Now I need the toilet roll but where the hell is it?
Oh great, she’s unravelled every little bit.

How can one child make a mess in such little time?
And “Why isn’t your dad watching you?” I whine.

We clean up all the mess. And put the toys away.
Ready for this to happen all over again later in the day.

Then as we go to leave the bathroom, thinking we’re all done.
I suddenly notice that there’s water all over her bum.

She must have used her toys to make a little puddle.
And now I have to change her. This isn’t fun at all.

So now you can see why going to the toilet isn’t restful anymore.
No matter what that sign says on my bathroom door.

Does this sound familiar? Let me know in the comments below. And, if you share my pain please share this with your friends. 

You can also follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for more poems on the pleasures and pains of parenthood.

26 thoughts on “Mum’s trip to the ‘rest room’ – a poem of parental pain

  1. My little one hasn’t figured out yet where the bathroom is at the moment so I enjoy the peace but not long till now I’ll be echoing your words! #DreamTeam

    Soffy //

  2. My little girl just turned one and I am familiar with the knocking, yelling, and hands under the door. She’s already attempting to reach the door knob. One of these days, I’m going to be in the same boat and I am dreading it…but at least you are loved so deeply, that your child wants to be with you every second!

  3. Ha. Yes! This! Exactly this. There’s nothing like a trip to the toilet anymore is there. I feel your pain with the unraveling toilet roll haha 😂 – turn your back for 5 seconds and who knows where it could end up. Thanks so much for joining us for the #dreamteam xx

  4. Haha yup – I don’t even bother closing the door anymore because it’s too much hassle to have to get up and open the door for them halfway through – I have just quietly resigned myself to the inevitable! Haha.

    And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

  5. YES! I share your pain and can relate to this – why are tampons and sanitary products in general of such interest to them! I rarely go to the toilet in peace and often have 3 little ones round me as I’m doing my business!!!!! #thesatsesh xx

  6. Haha that made me laugh! It’s funny, as I totally agree with you; with toddlers you just don’t bother closing the door….now with teens they are always telling me off for NOT closing the door! Haha. #ablogginggoodtime

  7. Oh, I miss the days when I could have a wee in peace! My son could never be left alone so I always took him with me when he was younger. Now he’s older, but we took the lock off our bathroom door as it was a key and I was worried about him locking himself in, so now I get interrupted all the time! I never appreciated my solo wees enough! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  8. I hear you with this, my little one is exactly the same, although she loves to place all her toys in the sink, run the water and kind of flood the bathroom. It’s hardly a restful experience going to the bathroom. Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

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