There’s a sign saying “rest room” on our bathroom door.
But since becoming a parent it’s not a room of rest anymore.
As soon as I perch my bum on the toilet seat,
All I hear is “mum, mum, mum” and the sound of tiny feet.
“Mummy,” she squeals as she bursts through the door,
And immediately starts to empty all the tampons from the drawer.
“No. No. No. Please don’t touch that.”
“Why don’t you just sit down and play on the mat?”
So she sits down with her bath toys and empties the box.
Somehow getting water all over my socks.
Then she thinks it’s fun to try posting toys into the toilet.
This isn’t very restful. Not one little bit.
“No darling you can’t sit on my lap.”
And: “Will you please stop trying to turn on that tap?”
Then she starts hitting the toilet seat off my back.
Over and over again. Whack. Whack. Whack.
- Baby brain is real
- Confessions from a tired mum – I can’t finish anything
- Sleepless nights: A late night obstacle course
Now I need the toilet roll but where the hell is it?
Oh great, she’s unravelled every little bit.
How can one child make a mess in such little time?
And “Why isn’t your dad watching you?” I whine.
We clean up all the mess. And put the toys away.
Ready for this to happen all over again later in the day.
Then as we go to leave the bathroom, thinking we’re all done.
I suddenly notice that there’s water all over her bum.
She must have used her toys to make a little puddle.
And now I have to change her. This isn’t fun at all.
So now you can see why going to the toilet isn’t restful anymore.
No matter what that sign says on my bathroom door.
Does this sound familiar? Let me know in the comments below. And, if you share my pain please share this with your friends.