Pregnancy diary – Scan nerves

As a natural worrier “don’t worry” is one of my most hated phrases. It’s often not as easy as that. Especially when it comes to pregnancy.

As I approached my 12 week scan I was filled with a mix of nerves and excitement. Despite having been ill for a large part of the first trimester I remember feeling as if I’d made the whole pregnancy up. Like they were going to do the scan and find nothing – it was all in my head. It seems silly to think about now. But it’s just one of those pre-scan worries I had.

This rhyme was written at that time and covers some of my pre-scan thoughts and feelings in more detail.

Pre-scan nerves

Tomorrow is my 12-week scan
And I’m trying to be as calm as I can.

I’m so excited to see my baby for the first time,
A sight that I know will be truly sublime.

But whilst I am of course super excited,
There’s a part of me that is terribly frightened.

What if I got my dates wrong?
And actually I’m further along?

Or what if there is more than one baby?
What does that mean for my pregnancy?

What if we find out my baby isn’t healthy?
Or what if she isn’t growing as she should be?

Or what if they do the ultrasound
and no heartbeat can be found?

The chances of this happening are low I am sure,
You’d think I’d worry less having done this before.

But until I see a picture of my little bean,
On that little ultrasound screen,

I’ll keep on worrying that this is all in my head,
The thought of seeing nothing will fill me with dread.

Should I take another pregnancy test?
Will that result make me less stressed?

But all of these what ifs and worries,
The concerns and anxieties,

Will be answered once and for all
Tomorrow when I go to the hospital.

So for now I’ll push the scary thoughts away,
And find a distraction for the rest of the day.

How did you feel before your first scan? Were you excited or nervous? Let me know in the comments below.

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